new year

today..jaja came to my house first to bai nian..my family was playing mahjong..and i let him play on my behalf..end up today my sis was very lucky..it's true tt if outsider is around they will stop quarreling in front of outsider..but jaja can feel the environment is not very good..but stil ok la..

den went to his house to bai nian..his mum is dere..and stayed there for awhile..aft tt went to his big bro's house to play mahjong..i still lose..not very pro la..jaja keep asking me whether wana go his aunt's house bai nian tmr..i feel quite scary as there'll be 10 plus pair of eyes looking at me..and oso..i noe if i go..it's like some kind of recognition there..it's not bout the many red packet that i'll be taking la..shd i go or not..hmm..dono..cos i tink maybe wait for 1 or 2 yrs more den go is better..he noes wad i'm tinking too la..tt's y he say if really don wana go it's ok..thou his aunts always ask y i din go..but..really very scary ma..he oso noe if he need to meet my side ppl oso very scary..hee..

jaja was very angry that i kana scolded very fiercely by sis..and he's very angry tt my sis scold me just because handphone radiation is very high..will kill alot of cells..esp at nite..and when chatting too long on the phone..he wanted to speak to my sis..and he went out of the house straight away and wanted to come my house to confront with my sis..i stopped him..cos i noe things will turn out ugly..he's really very very angry..maybe he feels that he couldn't do anything when my sis was scolding me cos he called..i can really feel tat he's 心疼about me..busy until don even have time to meet up le..talk on the phone oso cannot..and kana scolded somemore.. i stopped him from coming by saying i wana cry le..he cannot do anything but to go back home..and he's still very angry that no more how i tried to simmer down stil no use..i'm really sorry about that..it's not the first time sis scold le..scold alot of time until i cry le..i did try to retaliate but not powerful enuff..n he really wanted to quarrel with my sis de..but i try to stop him..even if he come my house i'll will til sis not at home den let him come..things will really turn out ugly if they quarrel..

and after awhile..without saying anything after going offline for awhile..he sent me a song jus now..爱很简单...i immediately jus tear drop..cos the lyrics is jus like wad we are now..u noe..last time i always imagining it's tao ze singing to me..but dono y at this point of time i can feel that he's the one singing to me..i'm truly sorry to make you angry..i din meant to make u tat angry..

Bad dream

Had a very very bad dream that seems very real..it started from yesterday when i was meeting my best friend at the sakae for dinner...

it comes with a call when i rejected some duties at the temple..cos it's on sat nite n i might be going out with old folks home frenz for movie..which i'm really going to do that on sat..den my family say shdn't reject when u're free..so make an effort to go..but end up when i wanted to go temple the lesson is over..all seems so real..and they're like nagging me for not going..

den i went to meet bel..and he was on his roller blades..wearing singlet and very very short shorts..which all his hidden tatoos could be seen..and he was like still smoking..den i ask y he smoke..he say social smoker ma..nt always ma..and he feels ok bout it..

i saw le i was so angry..den i ran away as usual..den he was like chasing me aft he was back to his normal clothes..i was like really sad about it..in the dreamz..i was crying..really crying very painfullyas i was running down the stairs of some shopping centres..and i was hiding away from him don let him find me..but he always manage to chase me..n i say i've nth to talk to him and don chase anymore..i don wana listen to anything..as he was like trying to explain as he feels he din do anything wrong..

den as usual..when sad or angry i will not listen in any words..den he very frustrated..den say how come always talk about break up..den he very sianz about it..and i woke up when my alarm rings..i dono wad will happen if my alarm doesn't ring..

i was so sad about the dream..maybe it's jus wad i'm afraid of that will come true..maybe i scared if there's any hidden things i dono..tt's y i fear..and these few days..maybe feel too xing fu..had good frenz to go out and had a nice chat..our r/l more and more ok for me to worry bout..sis don nag so much bout me toking on the phone..heard less quarrel in the family as time spent at home is lesser..tt's y feel quite happy bout my life now..tt inside me..i had that fear that was i see may not be the truth..cos i'm jus too used to worry bout stuff..family..frenz..rl..and these days i'm nt worrying about anythin at all..tt's y ba..

aft the dream i immediately call jaja and tell him bout it..he woke up and answer my call thou i noe he's tired..and still sleeping..n i noe he's nt the bad jaja in the dream..at least i noe he'll be there when i needed him..

there's still the sweetness feeling in the air..thou i'm a little troubled..which cos me not to have enuff sleep..jaja's timetable is the same as mine today...we can always see each other running in and out of classroom for lesson.(cos our classroom is jus opposite each other)..den going for pe lesson...i went up to the class to fetch dem..end up they're not there..and realise they're stil in the canteen..den quickly rush down to pick them up..den i tink jaja oso wil forget to pick his students up..den jus nice saw jaja also running up to his pe class..den told him need to pick them up from canteen..den he jus realise it and gave me a "ya hor"..den quickly dono run where liao..and i was also running..den pe time can see wad he's doing with his class..and wad i doing with my class..very funny one de la..

den jaja also say that too..both busy together at the same time..and the thing is can always like meet each other somewhere in the school..in the assembly..in the classroom..in the staffroom..cos timetable almost the same..den he teach some of my students..and i teach some of his..busy together lo..if free oso free tgt lo..

but i think he's more busy..kana shoot alot of arrows even when he come down now..maybe come down jus to shoot him more arrows..siao liao..aft listening to his schedule..packed until siao..buay ta han..i oso dono how to help him cos i dono anything of his..eee..so crap..

sweetness is still in the air..

ppl in the school start to know that we're together..bcos one of the colleagues added me to her facebook..and actually wanted to intro boy friends to me de..but end up she saw the tagged photos of the batam trip..den went to ask him..and more and more ppl knew about us..so he was asking if can detag the photos or not...

i dono..i tot it's a tedious thing to go find out all the tagged photos to detag them..and need to be detagged by ppl who posted..so i jus say it's tedious..and i feel asking ppl to undo them is wasting their precious effort to upload them up and tagging them..den i oso find it very xin ku to hide..so i jus say if really wana 公私分明 100% den jus break lo..and i don like ppl to like waste their effort again to detag the photos jus for the sake tt don wana let sch ppl now we tgt..he accepted it..but the thing is i stil feel detag is better..and he's trying hard to explain to me don need to detag cos he noe my reason and stand le...and he's so frustrated until he type until some of the keyboard figuring drop out cos he slammed the keyboard..oh no..it's not that i wana open..it's jus difficult to hide..den he say wana open..but i scared will drag him down or sth..like ppl threatening him using this as a ba2 bing3..sigh..dono la..too tired to type le..

end of 2008

thou jaja woke up very late today..we still manage to go for hiking..where we went ah..hmm..we went vivo first..den from dere we walk all the way to henderson wave..hee..it was not quite long la..jus tt the steps seems to make us a little out of breathe..we walk and stop a little to see some views...

we do have some rewards..one big spider..and a criket..hee..saw it?

we din went out for countdown la..cos there'l be lotsa ppl squeezing with each other..these is one of the few years which i din go out for countdown..hee..but nvm la..stay at home lo..

feel that we're gettig closer and closer..maybe bcos he's oso a p2 form teacher..same as me..even the timetable oso about the same..teach chinese..cme..pe..and our classroom is jus opposite each other..so cute..but both of us think it's good that our tables are not beside each other..sometimes some difference and distance away will be good too..as we're both first time being a form teacher..we can always remind each other wad to do..this and that..he's the convenor of cme..while i'm the convenor of pe..we have our own scheme of work to do..things to settle..tt time he did ask me.."i come down to pm session leh..u happy or not.." ha..actualy i'm oredi used to it le la..jus let natural take its course lo..no matter wad it'll be the same for me..i think he's oso oredi "see through" le..jus work hard and do our part can le..

both of us hope that we'll both be happy no matter wad we're doing..when and where..happy can le..hope this happiness will maintain throughout 2009..